Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

55 Words: Steampunkery by *Nemonus:iconNemonus:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Science Fiction


"We're going down, captain!"

"Oh Lord keep the central balloon from igniting-"

The speaking horn squawks, "No captain, we've got it under control here."

"Gain altitude?"

The enemy zeppelins keep firing but they are growing distant, lost in gun-smoke.

"Gain altitude."

"Yes captain."

She tightens her grip on the wheel. "We can make it."
©2009-2010 *Nemonus
:iconnemonus:

Author's Comments

*1-618 is holding a 55-word story contest. Each participant can submit up to three stories, so of course I wrote three real quick.

This was the second one I did, and the one I like least. I'm not sure that the lack of dialogue tags makes it too confusing for the theme--the captain gaining confidence and reassurance from her crew--to show through. But I've been wanting to write some steampunk for a while, if only because "zeppelin" is too cool a word to not use in a battle scene. ^_^

So is "dirigible", but there wasn't enough room. :P

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongolden-chicken:
=Golden-Chicken Nov 19, 2009, 8:03:12 PM
I must agree, the word zeppelin is pretty awesome. I love how you made it a vibrant story in such a short length. Do you ever plan on expanding upon it?

--
Sparklethulhu. He rises from R'lyeh when the stars are fabulous. ~[link]
--
"If you must be stupid, at least be amusing." ~Sotha Sil, Morrowind
:iconnemonus:
*Nemonus Nov 20, 2009, 8:33:40 AM
lol thank you1 I do, actually. I've got what is in my mind simply called "the steampunk story" all plotted out and will begin to write it when my final story for creative writing class is done. ^_^

--

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?
<Firefly>
:icongolden-chicken:
=Golden-Chicken Nov 21, 2009, 2:45:49 PM
Really? Awesome; can't wait. :iconimhappyplz:

--
Sparklethulhu. He rises from R'lyeh when the stars are fabulous. ~[link]
--
"If you must be stupid, at least be amusing." ~Sotha Sil, Morrowind
:icongrecianurn:
~GrecianUrn Nov 15, 2009, 9:26:55 PM
I enjoyed this, but yes: give us more! The idea is so intriguing that it seems a shame to keep it within the 55 word limit.
:iconnemonus:
*Nemonus Nov 16, 2009, 6:47:20 AM
Thanks! I've been thinking about doing more with this scenario, maybe some other steampunk plot, I don't know--something. I'm having a bit of a crisis with my inability to write good original characters right now, but I'm trying to work through it. :P

--

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?
<Firefly>
:iconmisao-chan:
*misao-chan Nov 12, 2009, 9:24:10 AM
This is a neat contest idea, I hope you win. (And by that I mean you had better win or else I will be eating some heads.)

Mmmm, you're good at writing steampunk. It's amazing how such sparse verbiage can conjure such vivid imagery of awesomeness.

--
"Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, [than] because bad philosophy needs to be answered." - C. S. Lewis
:iconnemonus:
*Nemonus Nov 15, 2009, 11:38:16 AM
Thank you! I have been shying away from steampunk basically because I'm afraid it won't come out any good if I don't research the technology, but I'm glad that you think I've conjured up something in this little experiment. That's a light of hope! I ought to write some more of it...

--

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?
<Firefly>
:iconmisao-chan:
*misao-chan Nov 17, 2009, 10:35:31 AM
Hehe...well, if it's any consolation, steam technology isn't really all that complicated. :P (Besides, researching that sort of thing can often prove to be quite fun. Or maybe that's just me being a nerd.)

--
"Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, [than] because bad philosophy needs to be answered." - C. S. Lewis
:iconlilithblessing:
~lilithblessing Nov 11, 2009, 3:20:45 PM
This one is actually the one I like most. I think the story here is depicted much more clearly than the others, and even in fifty-five words, you were able to jam-pack excitement into the story.

And "dirigible" and "zeppelin" are awesome words, I agree. :)

--
MY IDENTITY CANNOT FIT IN A 50x50 PX PNG, JPEG, OR GIF IMAGE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS SMALLER THAN 15 KB.
:iconnemonus:
*Nemonus Nov 11, 2009, 3:52:29 PM
Oh thank you! I'm glad it worked! I wasn't 100% sure that it wouldn't, but also not 100% sure that it would. This one certainly does have more story than the others--it was the only one meant to convey a world as well as a situation.

:highfive:

--

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?
<Firefly>
Previous Page12Next Page

Found in these Groups:

Not currently found in a Group

Details

November 11, 2009
522 bytes

Statistics

11
2 [who?]
57 (0 today)
2 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map

©2010 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy